Dear Robin: I am feeling so alone and scared these days. I go to work and then I sit home by myself staring at my phone or the TV. No one ever calls me and instead of picking up the phone and calling someone, I wonder, “What’s on Netflix?” Fixing my loneliness has come down to binge watching someone else’s life on TV. And most of the time, those shows make me more scared of what is happening in the world. Can you help me figure out why I feel such despair and what can I do about it?
~ Lynn from CT.
You are not alone! As a matter of fact, many of my clients have expressed that same sentiment to me; “I am sitting home feeling lonely, no one ever calls me.” Is it possible that we are all sitting home feeling lonely, craving a deeper level of connection than what is possible through social media or watching TV? Perhaps you wonder: “Why can’t that person just call me? Why do I have to be the one who has to initiate contact again . . .?”
My Aunt Barbara is in her 80’s and has more friends than most people I know. Because she’s seemingly so popular, I asked her, “Aunt Barb, of all the social plans you make all the time, what percentage of the time do you need to initiate the call?” She answered, “That’s easy – at least 90% of the time.” I responded, “Doesn’t that irritate you?” She replied, “I used to get annoyed until I came to realize that every time I make the call, the person on the other end of the phone is so glad to hear from me! And I get to hear a friendly voice and we get to make a plan to be together. Everyone wins!”
Lynn, if you knew you could have the same outcome as Aunt Barbara, would you make the call? Go ahead and try it – what do you have to lose? And no, don’t text – pick up the phone and make the call. Catch up with your family member or friend and commit to yourself that you won’t hang up without a date on the calendar to get together in person.
Now, onto the harder discussion of despair that comes from the binge watching of all that negativity on TV or in the movies. You might think that it will make your life seem better by comparison . . . but it makes you feel worse. I was watching the Today Show and I heard a 10-minute dialogue by the hosts of one horrific story after the next. I turned off the TV and wondered: “How can they talk about all this negativity in their job every day?“
We all have choices; we can watch the News, or watch violence on TV, or not. We want to stay informed on current events – but how can we do that without feeling afraid?
I would suggest that it is important that you stay informed but then you must focus on what you desire to happen, not simply accept “what is”. This is even more important now that the “what is” of our nation is scary, therefore, focusing on what you wish to manifest – for yourself, for the country, for the world – is the best step in the right direction.
Your fear is well-justified, given that what’s happening in our nation has brought out into the light of day all its shadow aspects – to be understood, healed and transformed into a higher consciousness way of being. This is an extraordinary opportunity for you and all of us to envision for our nation exceptional positive outcomes and become part of the solution. The same possibilities are true for your individual situation as well!
Based on your note, Lynn, I would say that you are looking for a life filled with friendship, laughter and having fun. The first step to achieving the life you want is to spend time with friends and family – or being of service to others. Why not volunteer for a cause that supports positive outcomes? Then, the next step during your personal or “me” time is watch more light-hearted shows or documentaries on the beauty of the natural world, or those about how we are healing our world.
When my son was little, he said, “Mommy, why don’t they have a Good News channel?” Out of the mouths of babes . . . yes, why don’t they? Perhaps because fear is a prevalent and pervasive emotion on our planet; it sells products and services and advertisers know that. My hope is that when we successfully move from fear to love as the predominant energy on our planet that we will have plenty of Good News channels.
Until then, find shows that make you laugh or turn off the TV or read a wonderful book. Make the effort to connect with your friends and loved ones, even if it means you must “make the first move”. And accept the fact that you, like Aunt Barbara, may have to make that first move 90% of the time – but know also that it will be worth it!
Lynn, when you choose love over fear, the Divine brings you more loving moments to cherish.
In love and light,
If you would like to submit a question to be answered by Robin in an upcoming publication of Natural Nutmeg, please send your question in an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org.